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I made a list of every crime committed in The Office and it only took seven months

Below I’ve listed every law that was broken in The Office (from destruction of property and battery to homicide and kidnapping) whether legal action was taken or not, as well as ideas that people had that were illegal; I’m not a legal expert, I just have a lot of much free time (I labeled the episodes the same way that Netflix does.)
S1E3: Dwight claims that multiple people in the office forged medical forms for their health insurance plans
S1E6: Michael claims that Dunder Mifflin employees in the 80’s constantly used cocaine
S2E1: Pam, Kelly, and Phyllis reveal that there is something written on the women’s bathroom wall, later Pam reveals to Jim that she was the one who wrote it; people throw food at Michael (would fall under battery)
S2E2: Packer reveals that he’s been convicted of a DUI
S2E3: Dwight reveals that sometimes teenagers use his farm for sex (depending on their ages, this may be illegal as the Pennsylvania age of consent is sixteen)
S2E6: Dwight punches Michael in the stomach twice with considerable force (Michael does bait him into doing it though)
S2E8: Jim punctures a hole in Dwight’s “fitness orb” with a pair of scissors; it is implied that a former accountant killed himself; Dwight reveals that he made a copy of Michael’s key to the office
S2E10: Meredith flashes Michael in his office
S2E11: Michael tells everyone on the cruise that the ship is sinking when there’s no danger (creating a false panic is illegal in most cases)
S2E12: Dwight crashes his car into a telephone pole outside of the office and leaves his bumper in the street
S2E14: Michael says that Packer once held a man’s head into a toilet; it is also implied that Packer was the one who defecated in Michael’s office
S2E15: Michael causes lots of damage in the warehouse by improperly using the lift (he also doesn’t have a license to operate it)
S2E16: Michael jaywalks (technically illegal though typically not enforced); Michael comments that someone was pooping in a cardboard box in the subway
S2E17: Dwight tackles Ryan, Creed, and Stanley to the ground
S2E19: Michael finds out that he’s involved in a pyramid scheme
S2E20: Dwight finds a joint in the parking lot (Pennsylvania didn’t make steps to decriminalize marijuana until 2014); Michael believes he unknowingly smoked marijuana at a concert; Dwight gives Michael some of his urine so that he can pass a drug test
S2E21: Creed faces sideways after his company photo is taken, implying that he’s been arrested in the past
S2E22: Creed steals casino chips and also admits to stealing things all of the time; Dwight kisses Angela and she hits him in response (though it seems like both parties were okay with the outcome)
S3E1: Roy reveals that he was arrested for drunk driving
S3E4: Creed reveals that the reason Ed Truck got decapitated was because he was driving drunk (though this was never confirmed and Creed tends to lie); the bird funeral is lit on fire (probably illegal as they did not have a permit and it was mainly paper and not wood)
S3E5: Ryan and Dwight egg the front of Axelrod Ltd’s building
S3E6: Jim rides his bike drunk (believe it or not, this is actually illegal)
S3E7: Creed sells office equipment
S3E8: Andy steals a computer from the Stamford office; after poking holes in everyone’s tires, Michael claims it was Vance Refrigeration workers that did it
S3E9: It is revealed that Martin went to jail for insider trading; Kevin admits that insider trading sounds a lot like what he does as well
S3E10: Creed removes a present from the charity box (removing uncollected items from charity drives is theft); Pam reveals that she has been sending fake letters from the CIA to Dwight, Jim later gets involved (illegal to pass yourself off as a CIA agent)
S3E13: Andy punches a hole through the wall
S3E16: Michael reveals that his eighth grade teacher hooked up with at least thirteen students; Dwight reveals that he hunted a werewolf as a child, but it’s more likely that he killed his neighbor’s dog; Dwight traps a bat in a bag over Meredith’s head
S3E17: Creed reveals that he has a side business where he makes fake IDs for teens; Creed also reveals that he stole a laminating machine from the sheriff’s station; Dwight accidentally damages David’s roof while inspecting the chimney; Roy and his brother destroy multiple objects in a bar including a mirror, a chair, and multiple glasses (Roy’s brother later reveals that he paid off the bar owner to not call the cops on them)
S3E18: Roy attempts to assault Jim in the office after finding out he kissed Pam; Dwight uses pepper spray on Roy when he attempts to assault Jim (this was done defense of Jim however); Jim reveals that Dwight has weapons such as nunchucks and throwing stars hidden in the office; Dwight uses pepper spray against Andy; Dwight is found to have more weapons hidden in his desk such as brass knuckles, a police baton, and a taser
S3E19: Darryl reveals that Michael once kicked a ladder out from under him and caused him to break his ankle; Michael accidentally smashes a watermelon on the roof of someone’s car; Michael tries to convince the office that he’s going to commit suicide
S3E20: A former Dunder Mifflin employee from the paper mill put a watermark of two cartoon animals having sex on about five-hundred boxes-worth of paper; Creed frames Debbie Brown from the paper mill for not catching the watermark on the paper, which results in her termination; it was revealed that Andy was unknowingly dating a high schooler (only illegal if they had sexual contact); Andy reveals that he and his high school girlfriend knocked over a mailbox with her friends
S3E21: Phyllis claims that she was flashed by a man in the parking lot; when Jim calls the police to report the flasher, he says that the police have already gotten three calls; Creed implies that he has flashed people in the past; Jan offers Michael money in return for him driving to New York and having sex (it is illegal to accept or pay money for sex, even if the other person is not a prostitute); Meredith throws her trash out of her car window onto the street while also driving recklessly; while parking her car, Meredith scrapes another car; Creed reveals that he uses the women’s bathroom for bowel movements and has “paid dearly” for it in the past; Dwight and Andy put up barbed wire on the parking lot fence of the office (using barbed wire is typically illegal if the fence is adjacent to a public street)
S3E22: Michael lights a bonfire on the beach (he likely did not have a fire permit)
S3E23: Jim and Karen sneak into a theater to see the second half of Spamalot (would technically burglary, believe it or not, since they snuck in with the intent of stealing services); Jan claims that the reason she is being fired from Dunder Mifflin is because of her breast implants (though David says it is because of her work ethic)
S4E1: Michael hits Meredith with his car and fractures her pelvis; Dwight attempts to mercy kill Angela’s cat by trapping it in her freezer
S4E2: Michael claims that when he was a child, he had a foreign exchange student living with him that stole all of his blue jeans when he went back to his home country; Kelly tells Ryan that she is pregnant with his child in an attempt to get him to go on a date with her (this could fall under intentional infliction of emotional distress)
S4E3: Michael and Dwight detain the pizza deliveryman in the office conference room; Dwight reveals that the pizza deliveryman steals hemp from his farm; Andy reveals that he stole the ice sculpture he brought to the party; Michael and Dwight steal a tray of sushi and some accessories from a restaurant
S4E4: Dwight admits that the permits on the bed and breakfast side of Schrute Farms are still pending even though he is actively taking customers; Creed reveals that he has a second identity that he transfers his debt to; Michael and Jan are likely trespassing while they are sitting on the stationed train
S4E6: Dwight attempts to create molotov cocktails to throw in the Utica office; Michael drives recklessly on the highway; while stealing the Utica branch’s industrial copier, Michael and Dwight break it; Dwight reveals more weapons that he has in the office, including a pack of knives, a pair of sai, a sword, and a blowdart (having these weapons in the open is not illegal, but concealing them is)
S4E8: Michael purgers himself during Jan’s deposition
S4E9: Jan throws a Dundie at Michael’s TV and breaks it
S4E10: It is revealed that the model from Micahel’s chair catalog died in a car accident (Dwight says that she was stoned at the time and crashed into the side of an airplane hanger)
S4E11: Ryan states that the Dunder Mifflin website was infiltrated by sexual predators (only illegal if they used it to transmit child pornography or arrange meetings with minors with the intent of sexual contact); it is heavily implied that Ryan and his friend Troy are under the influence of cocaine
S4E12: Michael places his face in wet cement outside of the office (would be considered destruction of property)
S4E13: Andy drives a golf cart recklessly and ends up destroying its roof (and potentially the cart as well)
S4E14: Jim sets up Dwight’s cell and work phones to go to his Bluetooth and pretends to be him when clients call (could fall under criminal impersonation); Ryan commits fraud by having people re-record sales and is arrested for it; Dwight, Meredith, and Mose release a raccoon into Holly’s car (only illegal if it does damage to her car)
S5E1: Phyllis blackmails Angela by threatening to reveal Angela and Dwight’s affair unless she lets Phyllis run the Party Planning Committee
S5E3: Kelly reveals that she downloads pirated music onto her work computer, to which Michael responds, “who hasn’t”; Meredith reveals that she’s been sleeping with a supplier in exchange for discounts on supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates (could fall under the scope of prostitution); Michael threatens to kill everyone if they don’t go to the conference room
S5E4: Dwight tries to destroy Jan’s $1,200 stroller
S5E5: The office is robbed after Michael and Holly forget to lock the office’s front door; Creed implies that he made the last person who stole from him disappear, and that he stole the identity Creed Bratton from them
S5E7: Kelly falsifies customer surveys regarding Jim and Dwight
S5E9: Michael attempts to purchase marijuana from two Vance Refrigeration workers, and they trick him into buying a salad in a bag rather than drugs (intent to purchase illegal drugs is illegal, and so is selling counterfeit drugs); Michael and Dwight attempt to frame Toby with drug trafficking and possession of marijuana; when the cops arrive, Creed becomes incredibly worried that he’ll be arrested, implying that he either has drugs in the office, or is a drug dealer
S5E10: Dwight tricks Angela into marrying him (this would be considered fraudulently inducing someone into marriage)
S5E11: Creed is seen smoking out of a pipe likely containing kif, which has cannabis in it; Creed says that he can get fire permits very quickly, implying that they are possibly fake; Michael forces Meredith into going to a rehab facility (technically falls under the definition of kidnapping)
S5E12: Jim uncovers more weapons that Dwight has hidden throughout the office; Andy pins Dwight against a fence with his car, Dwight dents Andy’s car
S5E13: Jim connects a red wire to Dwight’s computer which leads outside to the top of the power pole (would qualify as vandalism to the pole); Michael and Dwight attempt to learn information about a competitor under the guise of a potential customer and potential employee (could be considered corporate espionage, but I couldn’t find any specifics)
S5E14: Dwight induces panic law by simulating a fire in the office, he additionally damages multiple doors and cuts the phone wires; during the fire drill, multiple office employees damage items in the office including ceiling tiles, the copier machine, and the vending machine; Dwight reveals that he is planning a bomb scare; Dwight is shown to have a hunting knife strapped to his ankle, and he uses this knife to cut apart the CPR dummy (though corporate payed for the damages to the dummy); Andy, Jim, and Pam watch a pirated film
S5E15: Dwight buys cookies from Toby in exchange for him signing a form (quid pro quo on this is illegal); Dwight attempts to have his coworkers sign his form under the guise of it being a sign-in sheet; Michael throws full slices of bread on the ground to feed pigeons (it was winter and there were no birds, so this could be considered littering)
S5E16: Jim cuts the cord that connects Michael’s phone to the office’s PA system; Dwight finds out that Kelly went to juvenile detention when she was younger; Creed gives Jim a $3 bill (counterfeit money is illegal)
S5E17: Creed says he knows where to buy a kid for $7,000; it’s revealed that the reason Kelly was in juvenile detention was because she stole her boyfriend’s father’s boat; Michael cuts off a sleeve from Holly’s sweater; Michael also takes a file off of Holly’s computer (would be classified as unauthorized computer access)
S5E18: Phyllis and Bob have sex in a restaurant bathroom (this is technically public sex which is a misdemeanor); Creed steals a bag of blood from the blood drive
S5E19: Dwight slaps Michael; Jim slaps Dwight
S5E20: Dwight pretends to have kidnapped David’s son
S5E21: Michael sneaks back into the office after being asked to leave (technically trespassing as it is private property and he was escorted out of the building)
S5E22: Michael breaks his condominium agreement by having the Michael Scott Paper Company located within his condo (though the owner only sent a warning that he needed to stop); Ryan steals three pairs of bowling shoes before he quits the bowling alley; Michael asks Billy to sell him a ‘secret office space’ off of the books within the Scranton Business Park
S5E23: Dwight claims that a woman named Haddie McGonagle was murdered in the Dunder Mifflin office space in 1816 (though he probably made this up)
S5E24: Dwight steals supplies and files from the Michael Scott Paper Company’s office
S5E26: While fixing her dress, Meredith accidentally reveals one of her breasts, as well as her crotch and her backside (was accidental, but could be considered public indecency)
S5E27: Dwight cuts open the back of Phyllis’ blouse so he can give her a massage; Creed reveals that he doesn’t have any mirrors in his car that let him see behind the car (in Pennsylvania, it is illegal to drive without at least one mirror that lets you see behind the car)
S5E28: Dwight’s friend Rolph once inquired about shoes that increased speed and didn’t leave any tracks, implying that he was going to commit a crime
S6E1: Stanley wrecks Michael’s car with a tire iron
S6E2: Dwight and Toby accidentally crash into a few trash cans outside Darryl’s house; Dwight uncovers that the real cause of Darryl’s injury was from misuse of company equipment
S6E4: Michael ties full beer cans to the back of his car which left debris all over the road; Dwight implies that Mose is going to be castrating horses (only legal if Mose has a veterinary license, which is unlikely); Dwight also claims that he has a device which can make hamburgers out of horse meat without killing the horse (likely animal cruelty)
S6E5: The Niagara Falls hotel staff incinerated Kevin’s shoes (they claim they did it because it was a safety issue); Dwight gifts a turtle to Jim and Pam for their wedding and appears to not have made any holes in the box (likely animal cruelty); Dwight accidentally kicks Isabel in the face while dancing
S6E6: While answering Jim’s phone, Kevin pretends to be Jim and accidentally cancels his credit cards
S6E7: Dwight secretly records the conversations in Jim’s office (Pennsylvania has a two-party consent law which means that all parties in the conversations must consent to being recorded); Andy talks about a 60 Minutes segment that went into working conditions of a paper mill in Peru (the 60 Minutes segment likely went into illegal conditions within the mill)
S6E8: Meredith reveals that she has had sex with a known terrorist; while writing down things that people don’t want to be made fun of for, Creed says that if he writes his down, he cannot be charged for it; a custodian reveals that when Michael fell into the koi pond, he accidentally killed one of the fish
S6E9: Ryan shows Erin a topless photo of Kelly in the office (could be considered indecent exposure since it was in a public space within the office); Creed implies that a shipping order was never supposed to reach it’s location, possibly indicating that he stole a shipment
S6E10: Creed flees the office when Michael tells him that there was a murder and that he was a suspect, implying that he may be involved in a murder
S6E12: Dwight secretly records a phone call between Jim and David
S6E13: As part of Secret Santa, Andy gives Erin the Twelve Days of Christmas, inadvertently resulting in physical injury to her and potentially her home and car; Creed implies that he’s done “evil” things; Michael says that he has often claimed to be David’s childrens’ pediatrician to get him on the phone
S6E16: Andy accidentally gives Meredith a large paper cut on her throat; Ryan implies to Dwight that they should torture Jim
S6E17: While escorting Jim and Pam to the hospital, Dwight puts a police light on the top of his car; Michael uses his phone to text and make a call while driving; when being pulled over, Dwight throws multiple large weapons out his window; Michael parks in an ambulance-only parking spot
S6E18: Dwight breaks a window to enter Jim and Pam’s home; after breaking in, Dwight discovers mold in their home and destroys walls and cabinets with a crew of workers so he can refurbish their kitchen; Jim comments that he had five parking tickets on his windshield
S6E20: Creed tries to act casual when Michael announces that the lost and found has gone missing, implying he may have stolen it; Andy aggressively tries to take a pen from Darryl (could be considered battery); Dwight strangles Kevin in an attempt to get information from him; Michael and Dwight, and then later Andy and Erin, walk around the Scranton dump (would be considered trespassing); Michael and Dwight throw large pieces of garbage at each other; Michael and Dwight take two chairs from the dump
S6E21: Phyllis claims she likes getting men to flirt with her so that Bob will beat them up; Michael accidentally damages multiple objects while being reckless at the bar; Dwight breaks his contract with Angela (unsure as to whether a lawyer was involved with the first contract, but Angela served Dwight with a summons for breaking it, leading me to believe it was legitimate); Hide admits that he killed a Yakuza boss on purpose and then came to America illegally
S6E22: Meredith steals and uses Pam’s breast pump
S6E24: Michael hires Dwight to follow Donna around to see if she’s cheating on him (following someone isn’t illega, but it could be considered stalking or harassment); Creed implies that he’s committed crimes for low levels of reward; Michael says he’s going to kill the guy who’s kissing Donna in her Facebook photo (though he immediately takes it back)
S6E25: Michael keeps throwing out radon kits that Toby put around the office; Michael once again claims that he would kill Toby; Dwight claims that his money is buried underneath someone (though we don’t know if this is a grave or a buried corpse); Dwight and Angela’s lawyer comments that their sex contract is dangerously close to prostitution and illegal
S7E1: Dwight tears the head off of Phyllis’ teddy bear and pulls a knife on Jim; Meredith breaks into Michael’s nephew’s car; Michael spanks his nephew
S7E2: Dwight attempts to open a daycare center that is absolutely not up to safety codes; Toby allows Michael to forge his counseling paperwork
S7E4: Dwight is shown attempting to pick up what would appear to be illegal immigrants for day labour and then instead of paying them, has Mose pretend to be an INS agent, kidnaps the workers, and then drops them off in Harrisburg; Holly claims that multiple people died in a traffic accident (though it’s incredibly likely that she was kidding); Michael takes an incredibly quick turn without his turn signal on
S7E5: Michael, Dwight, and Jim secretly watch Danny’s meeting with Meredith through hidden cameras (only illegal if they are recording the footage)
S7E7: Angela steals all of the scones from Cece’s christening (though they were for public consumption so it probably wouldn’t constitute as theft)
S7E8: The Scranton Strangler leads police on a high speed pursuit; Michael tells Pam that he has a loaded gun hidden in his desk at the office; Michael cuts the cable going to Gabe’s apartment
S7E10: Erin floats the idea of hiring a new employee, killing them, and then cashing in on the life insurance policy; Dwight and Phyllis float the idea of bombing China; Pam accuses Dwight of breaking property code laws
S7E11: Dwight and Jim keep throwing snowballs at each other with force, and some that contained pebbles (snowball fights themselves aren’t illegal, but it’s illegal in most places to throw objects which could be considered missiles, and Jim is also shown with what appears to be blood on his clothes afterwards); Dwight asks Toby is he’s on the jury for the middle school teacher who tried to turn a foreign exchange student into a sex slave; Meredith asks Toby if it’s the case with the postman who rubbed his genitals on deliveries; Michael throws out supplies and food meant for the Christmas party; Dwight is shown dragging the Christmas tree out of the office to throw it out; one of the snowballs that Jim lobs at Dwight breaks a window; Michael throws Holly’s Woody doll into the trash and pours coffee on it
S7E12: Jim stabs a few snowmen with his umbrella hoping that Dwight is hiding in one of them
S7E13: Michael claims that regardless if Holly gets engaged or not, he will probably either attack people in rage or burn the building down in happiness
S7E15: Michael leaves without paying at the Chinese restaurant; Creed is also listed on the wall of diners who did not pay for their meal
S7E17: Michael most likely did not have permits to film in some of the locations featured in Threat Level Midnight; multiple characters in Michael’s film are seen using guns (you do not need a permit to have a gun in your home or business place in Pennsylvania, but multiple characters concealed their weapons during the film, though the guns are likely fake); a mannequin of Toby is blown up during Michael’s film (depending on the type of explosive used, certification may be required); during the hockey scene of the film, Michael comments that it was filmed during an actual Scranton High hockey game (could be seen as defiant trespassing and/or disorderly conduct)
S7E18: Packer humps Michael and Dwight while they’re underneath a desk; Dwight throws away Holly’s zen garden; Dwight offers Packer a hot chocolate laced with many laxatives (depending on the amount, it could be considered assault or even homicide since extreme dehydration could kill someone); Andy purposely does damage to his computer’s keyboard and hard drive; Andy and Pam slightly damage Andy’s new computer; Jim and Dwight pretend to be Sabre employees and tell Packer he can jump the gate at Jo’s house
S7E19: Ryan uses Phyllis and Oscar’s faces on his mom’s pesto and salsa recipes (would fall under right of publicity laws); Ryan adds a Kosher certification onto his mom’s pesto recipe (against FDA regulations); Michael pours gasoline all over the parking lot; Michael wants to steal a corpse from a medical school to use in his proposal to Holly
S7E20: Michael eggs Toby’s house; Kevin colors on a restaurant tablecloth with crayons; Ryan admits to have done drugs in the past
S7E21: Gabe confronts Andy and threatens him to stay away from Erin (could be considered criminal threatening); Deangelo claims that he caught the person who stole one of Jo’s dogs
S7E24: Dwight accidentally fires his gun through the floor; Meredith claims that during the shooting she lost her necklace, a ring, and a painting and will be reporting it to the insurance company; Ryan claims that Dwight’s accident felt like an act of terrorism; Pam claims that Dwight has hidden more weapons in the office
S7E25: Creed parks his car in the middle of the parking lot
S7E26: Dwight admits that he would have created a fake identity for his character of Jacques Souvenier if Jo had hired him as manager
S8E1: Dwight uses a fire extinguisher to knock Meredith off of the top of a bathroom stall, drops a ream of paper on a warehouse employee’s head to get him off a table, and flips a table over to get Toby off of it; Dwight throws Jim’s phone against the wall with force and a shatter is heard; Dwight instigates a fight between nearly everyone in the office
S8E2: Andy says he will streak across the parking lot if the office accrues enough points
S8E3: Dwight pours his drink on the inside of someone’s car; Oscar smashes the car’s window and brake light with a crowbar; Dwight drives the baler through the warehouse wall; Erin and Kevin spread grease all over the warehouse floor; Dwight, Jim, Erin, and Kevin damage multiple boxes of paper
S8E4: Dunder Mifflin billboards across town are shown to be vandalized; Mose crashes Toby’s car into a corn field; Mose very tightly lines up everyone’s cars so that he can run across the roofs (he likely made scratches and dents while planning and executing this plan)
S8E5: Dwight is shown to have brought many weapons into the office in the past as part of Halloween costumes and threatened to kill Toby with them (though the weapons were never concealed and Toby usually confiscated them before he entered the office
S8E6: Oscar stated in an email that he believes that Robert has strangled at least one stripper; Kelly states in an email that they should kill Robert; Dwight’s accountability booster is dangerously close to a form of blackmail; Gabe says that he is going to go to a cemetery and drink (it’s actually illegal to drink in most cemeteries); Pam stops Kevin from hitting Dwight over the head with a frying pan; Jim takes Robert’s phone and attempts to deletes an email (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission)
S8E7: Dwight repeatedly grabs Jim’s crotch
S8E8: A Civil War informational video reveals that the soldiers from Schrute Farm were soldiers that went AWOL
S8E9: When Dwight suggests that everyone in the office is in a suicide cult, Creed strongly denies it, implying that he probably is in one; Jim leaves his car running and unattended in the middle of the parking lot
S8E10: Dwight punches Jim in the arm; Erin asks Andy for Jessica to die; Meredith threatens to drive drunk if Andy doesn’t drive her home; Meredith rides in the back of her van without a seatbelt on
S8E11: Andy asks Oscar to add $800 to their quarterly sales, implying it could be seen as a rounding error; Kevin offers to make that rounding error for Andy
S8E12: Jim drives over Robert’s lawn and breaks his mailbox
S8E15: Jim creates a fake murder scene in his hotel room for Dwight which involved stained towels, knocked over and possibly broken furniture, a writing on the door; Dwight threatens to light Jim’s face on fire; Dwight leaves the hospital with his IV solution bag, which implies he likely didn’t pay for his visit before leaving
S8E16: Gabe sprays an inhaler into Packer’s drink; Dwight damages his hotel room keycard; Dwight sprays a compound of chemicals in Jim’s hotel room creating what he claims is a biohazard
S8E17: Multiple homeless people are sleeping on the sidewalk outside the Sabre store (it’s usually only illegal for homeless individuals to sleep on the sidewalk if a shelter is available); Dwight tells Packer that he should act like a sexual predator when talking to the female teenage customers; a group of children throw pinecones at Andy and Pam, and one of them punches Andy in the face resulting in a black eye; Creed strikes the back of Meredith’s head; Ryan calls his uncle to get a prescription for Ritalin; Kelly attacks Toby and then accidentally elbows Andy in the face
S8E18: Dwight leaves a treasure chest in the office which fires a poisoned dart upwards at whomever opens it; Jim and Dwight tackle and punch each other; Kevin forcibly kisses Meredith
S8E19: Darryl drags Dwight out of his office by his hair; Andy tosses a container of eggplant parmesan onto the street; Andy leaves his car unattended in the middle of an intersection
S8E20: Dwight offers to hit Nellie with a candlestick; Jessica’s friends throw food at Andy’s car
S8E21: Andy smashes the frame holding a picture of Nellie; Andy punches another hole into the wall
S8E22: Andy loiters at the office parking lot
S8E23: Dwight and Jim create a fake identity to work around the commission cap (Dwight even admits that it’s extremely similar to embezzlement or fraud); Harry threatens to choke out Toby; Dwight tells Jim he should dent the hood of Harry’s car or slash the tires; Dwight attempts to activate the elevator’s seismic failsafes to stop the elevator; Pam steals Nellie’s phone and deletes all of her voicemails (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission); Andy tells Robert if he doesn’t hire him back, he will give Prestige Direct Mail Solutions’ business to a competitor (technically blackmail)
S8E24: Kevin and Robert accidentally head butt each other; Andy mops the carpets, likely damaging them; Dwight steals Philip’s used diaper so he can have a paternity test done (this is called gene theft); Angela and Dwight both speed and drive recklessly; Angela hits Mose multiple times; Dwight and Mose both leave their cars unattended in the middle of the street; Robert forcibly kisses Andy; Dwight forces himself on Angela (though seconds later she is a willing participant)
S9E1: Andy threatens to make up a reason to fire Nellie (since Toby is aware of this, if Nellie were to sue Andy, Toby would have to testify against him); Andy purposely pushes Nellie off of the slack-lining rope; Dwight deconstructs Dunder Mifflin equipment to create his trapeze set; Dwight gets stuck on the slack-line and the fire department has to come to get him down; Andy places all of the recycling bins near Nellie and has people throw their trash at her
S9E2: While the building’s janitor is on vacation, the building becomes incredibly dirty to the point where rats can be seen (likely against multiple health codes); Nellie forces Dwight into a situation where he has to chop off her hand (though he doesn’t go through with it)
S9E3: Nellie drives recklessly; Nellie uses her phone while driving
S9E4: Dwight and Toby find EMF hotspots in the office which could imply that there’s poor wiring in the building (depending on how bad the wiring actually is, this could actually break laws); Stanley threatens to spank Clark; Dwight drives the work bus (depending on the type of bus it was, Dwight would need a certain license to drive it); Phyllis asks someone to just start driving the bus while Dwight is on the roof; Dwight drops himself through the rooftop emergency exit on the bus onto Jim; Dwight drives the bus recklessly
S9E5: Creed comes into the office with blood stains all over his clothes (it likely was not his blood, so he may have harmed someone); Andy reveals he had sex with a snowman while at Cornell (would fall under public indecency); Dwight catches Meredith in a net and causes her to fall to the floor
S9E6: Kevin leaves his car in the middle of the parking lot so he can run to the bathroom; Oscar forges documents to make it looks like Kevin has been taking money from Dunder Mifflin; Nellie, Jim, Pam, and Darryl create a situation where Dwight believes that police have surrounded David’s house; Pete’s friend Flipper once drunkenly flipped a table over at a bar
S9E7: Dwight claims he used to have a barber who fought dogs and made dogs fight each other; Clark is used as leverage by Dwight to get Jan’s business (this trade would be dangerously close to prostitution)
S9E8: Dwight reveals that Trevor has had numerous guns stolen from him; Angela hires Trevor to murder Oscar; Dwight claims he has left poop in a paper bag on people’s porches (would be classified as vandalism); Trevor claims that people have left poop in a bag on his porch multiple times; Angela asks Trevor to break Oscar’s kneecaps instead; Trevor brings a concealed weapon into the office; Phyllis taps a stranger on the back with the sharp end of a knife; Phyllis forcibly removes a decorative wine bottle from its base; Angela kicks Oscar in the shin
S9E9: Dwight hits Oscar and Jim with a stick; Darryl collapses on a table and breaks it in half
S9E10: Dwight throws his coffee cup up in the air, likely staining the carpet; Dwight sprays a disinfectant in Erin, Pam, Angela, and Meredith’s faces; Erin tackles Stanley; Meredith reveals that one of her exes keyed a bunch of people’s cars; Meredith also reveals that she pooped into an office shredder; Dwight accidentally sets off an insecticidal grenade (I don’t believe there is a real insecticidal grenade but I’m sure there’s some law against either setting one off or doing so with people nearby); Angela hits Oscar in the head with a coffee pot; Kevin misuses one of the warehouse machines and causes it to break; Dwight accidentally sets off another insecticidal grenade in his car (he most likely still drove his car after while experiencing hallucinogenic side effects)
S9E11: Jim is seen driving a motorcycle (Jim likely did not have a motorcycle license); Dwight suggests that Jim should drive 240 miles per hour so he can get to the office faster; Creed steals Phyllis’ ring; Kevin forcibly lifts Angela up multiple times; Darryl misses a basketball hoop and accidentally breaks a wall lamp and electrocutes a fish tank (though Darryl agreed to pay for the damage); multiple people in the office tear up the carpet flooring
S9E12: Dwight rips open a couch cushion with a knife; Dwight drives one of the delivery trucks (he likely does not have a license to drive the truck); Dwight throws a milkshake through the drive-thru window at an employee; a customer in the drive-thru throws a milkshake at Dwight
S9E13: Dwight reveals that Rolf uses hand grenades to fish; Mose is seen running in the middle of the street (could be considered jaywalking); Dwight reveals that when he was a child, he went to a school that was run by a conman; one of Dwight’s friends reveals that the school used the students as labor; Melvina reveals that she’s been double parked for about two hours; Dwight gives the sales rep applicants Jim’s home address so they can toilet paper it; Rolf tells Dwight to be weary of any suspicious packages he may get, implying that he’ll be sending him potentially dangerous packages; Dwight attempts to suffocate Clarke
S9E14: Frank vandalizes Pam’s warehouse mural; Angela hits Oscar; Dwight and Pam vandalize Frank’s truck; Frank rushes at Pam with the intent to hit her; Brian hits Frank in the face with his boom mic
S9E15: Meredith suggests that everyone in the office should try cocaine
S9E16: Dwight’s Aunt Shirley slaps Angela; Andy snoops through Erin’s phone; Andy kicks Toby; Angela accidentally sets off the hose on Dwight (the hose likely has the same pressure as a firehose, which is about 150 PSI, so this could be considered assault); Toby leaves the prison wearing a neck brace after visiting the Scranton Stranger, implying the Strangler attempted to strangled him;
S9E17: Dwight throws dirt in the faces of Erin, Phyllis, Kevin, Oscar, Meredith, Angela, Stanley, Pam and Jim; Dwight’s brother Jeb drives his car into Aunt Shirley’s grave; Packer reveals he’s in Narcotics Anonymous, implying he used to use drugs; Dwight reveals that his family members have accidentally buried family members who were thought to be dead but were actually in deep sleep; Dwight unloads a shotgun into his aunt’s corpse; Jeb reveals that he owns a worm farm in California (medical marijuana was not legalized in California until 2018); Packer reveals that the cupcakes he gave out to everyone in the office, as well as to Jim and Darryl were laced with drugs, some legal and some not; Packer is seen having parked his car halfway between a handicapped spot and a do-not-park zone; Clarke reveals that while drugged, he defected in some bushes
S9E18: Dwight dumps a bucket of water onto Phyllis, and is likely the same person who dumped a bucket of water onto Andy as well (technically would be classified as assault); Meredith exposes her breasts in the office; Angela slaps Oscar
S9E19: Dwight shoots Stanley with three tranquilizers meant for a bull (horse tranquilizers can cause serious harm to humans, and a bull tranquilizer likely has a higher dosage); Meredith squirts some of the bull tranquilizer into her drink (probably not illegal since she put it into her own drink, but it would be classified as placing a foreign object into an edible, which is actually a felony); Dwight and Clarke accidentally slam Stanley’s unconscious body into two walls; while sliding down a flight of stairs, Stanley’s unconscious body makes a dent in the wall; Andy kicks over an empty trash can; a man at the talent agency claims that through his dog-cat-mouse act, he goes through a lot of mice (allowing your pet to eat live animals can be considered animal cruelty); Stanley tranquilizes himself so that he doesn’t have to climb the stairs
S9E20: Creed smashes a melon on the warehouse floor; Pam accidentally hits Toby in the eye with a paper airplane; Erin reveals that when she was in the orphanage, she once ripped Susan’s pigtails off of her head; Erin crushes a box of packing peanuts; Clarke asks Pam and Jim to share the drugs he think they’re high on; Angela is seen taking rolls of toilet paper from the office
S9E21: Lackawanna County takes away “two sacks” worth of Angela’s cats because she is violating her apartment complex’s pet rules; Dwight throws his briefcase and hits multiple items; Dwight nearly kicks and punches multiple in the office; Andy asks Toby to falsify files; Andy attempts to grope Toby; Andy dedicates on David’s car (this would be classified as vandalism and public indecency);
S9E22: Dwight reveals that his grandmother was shot by Adolph Coors; Dwight throws the summoning bag against the back of Jim’s head; Casey Dean jumps on the back of the a cappella show host; Meredith spanks Darryl; Dwight is seen driving with his police light on his car; Dwight drives recklessly
S9E23: Dwight reveals that Creed faked his own death; Dwight also reveals that the police are looking for Creed as he sold drugs, trafficked endangered animal meat, and stole weapons-grade LSD from the military; Oscar reveals that Kevin used to make up numbers to balance the books; Mose kidnaps Angela and locks her in his trunk for three hours; Creed changes his identity; Ryan reveals that his partner abandoned him and their child; Ryan purposely gives his son an allergic reaction; Kelly and Ryan abandon his son with Ravi; Nellie takes Ryan’s son as her own child (she didn’t legally adopt him so this would be considered child abduction); Pam attempts to sell their home without Jim’s knowledge (since Jim bought the house as a surprise, his name is likely on the deed as well and Pam wouldn’t be able to sell it without him); Kevin spills alcohol all over a cabinet while filling up glasses
submitted by The_DMcI123 to DunderMifflin [link] [comments]

Words and frequencies across all lyrics

Bit of a pointless post but something I was curious about. Combining all the lyrics from DCFC songs Ben has written, here are all the words used and the frequency of them.
834 the 587 and 479 you 432 i 369 a 356 to 264 in 235 of 180 that 175 your 148 it 146 all 144 me 141 so 140 on 135 my 132 we 125 be 123 but 121 for 119 as 116 when 114 was 113 with 110 is 107 this 100 are 85 no 84 they 82 it's 77 there 77 from 76 our 76 like 72 there's 69 know 68 will 66 what 64 just 61 you're 61 love 61 at 60 can't 59 don't 57 if 56 never 56 gold 54 were 54 rush 54 down 52 time 52 through 50 nothing 49 i'm 48 away 47 out 47 not 46 have 46 could 44 oh 43 where 43 way 42 into 41 'cause 40 heart 39 same 39 one 38 then 38 only 37 how 37 every 36 see 36 i'll 35 would 34 some 32 more 31 up 31 find 30 been 30 back 29 their 28 won't 28 why 28 here 28 do 27 who 27 or 27 can 26 now 26 by 26 an 25 stay 25 new 25 got 25 go 24 sun 24 something 24 she 24 little 24 feel 24 around 23 you'll 23 sunlight 23 open 23 night 23 i've 23 always 22 used 22 home 22 had 21 you've 21 us 21 than 21 said 21 didn't 20 wanderer 20 too 20 let 20 left 20 keep 20 he 20 days 19 they're 19 long 19 both 19 about 18 think 18 them 18 sound 18 say 18 make 18 lines 18 life 18 hold 18 eyes 18 end 18 change 18 boys 17 want 17 these 17 off 17 loved 17 his 17 cause 17 before 16 someone 16 skin 16 past 16 need 16 gotta 16 am 15 we'll 15 waiting 15 take 15 spend 15 remain 15 ooh 15 head 15 far 15 fall 15 doors 14 true 14 that's 14 tell 14 place 14 people 14 mind 14 inside 14 hear 14 alone 13 underneath 13 turn 13 things 13 sea 13 old 13 move 13 morning 13 man 13 live 13 last 13 i'd 13 get 13 fool 13 did 13 behind 13 air 13 again 12 words 12 unlocked 12 trying 12 took 12 told 12 thought 12 much 12 many 12 friends 12 ever 12 come 12 along 11 thing 11 still 11 slowly 11 sky 11 should 11 seems 11 remember 11 look 11 light 11 her 11 haunted 11 hard 11 free 11 everything 11 digging 11 black 11 bed 10 years 10 year 10 well 10 those 10 such 10 street 10 slow 10 room 10 monday 10 modern 10 knew 10 hope 10 getting 10 face 10 even 10 empty 10 drive 10 dream 10 day 10 dark 10 came 10 best 10 age 9 wonder 9 we're 9 under 9 turned 9 town 9 thinking 9 someday 9 side 9 safe 9 possess 9 once 9 ocean 9 near 9 moved 9 meet 9 lying 9 kept 9 help 9 hands 9 fire 9 finally 9 door 9 distance 9 disappeared 9 city 9 begin 9 beautiful 9 anymore 8 windows 8 while 8 truth 8 tried 8 tonight 8 speak 8 soul 8 right 8 please 8 pity 8 mouth 8 mirror 8 mean 8 leaving 8 lead 8 kind 8 hole 8 gonna 8 glass 8 give 8 floor 8 fading 8 fade 8 everyone 8 ending 8 cannot 8 burning 8 burn 8 break 7 young 7 you'd 7 worse 7 within 7 wish 7 wind 7 wha 7 walls 7 walking 7 until 7 tears 7 standing 7 speed 7 sometimes 7 sleep 7 quite 7 own 7 over 7 oo 7 name 7 motion 7 mine 7 may 7 making 7 lonely 7 leave 7 ho 7 hand 7 ground 7 gives 7 filled 7 fear 7 dreamt 7 different 7 debris 7 cool 7 body 7 better 7 being 7 ask 7 arms 7 anything 7 alright 7 alive 7 'til 6 yet 6 upon 6 two 6 try 6 today 6 times 6 thread 6 talking 6 takes 6 synapse 6 sycamore 6 summer 6 stop 6 start 6 stars 6 spoke 6 soon 6 sleeping 6 single 6 play 6 paper 6 nothing's 6 names 6 myself 6 mess 6 memories 6 made 6 looking 6 lights 6 its 6 higher 6 hearts 6 he's 6 has 6 half 6 grows 6 gone 6 girls 6 ghosts 6 full 6 found 6 first 6 felt 6 feeling 6 fast 6 ends 6 else 6 el 6 either 6 each 6 dorado 6 document 6 couldn't 6 clothes 6 closer 6 clear 6 call 6 california 6 built 6 bring 6 brain 6 belly 6 believe 6 bah 6 bad 6 baa 6 awake 6 another 6 against 5 yourself 5 yes 5 work 5 window 5 went 5 watching 5 watch 5 wasn't 5 wanted 5 wait 5 turns 5 together 5 three 5 thin 5 tangled 5 talk 5 taken 5 swim 5 summer's 5 stage 5 song 5 somewhere 5 shoulders 5 shoes 5 set 5 seem 5 screaming 5 scene 5 saw 5 save 5 sad 5 roll 5 revolved 5 read 5 rain 5 put 5 pretend 5 pass 5 parallel 5 nue 5 must 5 moving 5 mistakes 5 mistake 5 meets 5 lovers 5 lost 5 lose 5 listen 5 lips 5 line 5 late 5 kid 5 ing 5 hotel 5 hides 5 held 5 heaven 5 grow 5 gotten 5 goodbye 5 gave 5 gates 5 frame 5 followed 5 follow 5 faster 5 fair 5 faces 5 expect 5 enough 5 engine 5 dying 5 drunk 5 dress 5 dancing 5 cut 5 cruel 5 cracks 5 concrete 5 compromise 5 close 5 cars 5 buildings 5 broken 5 binds 5 between 5 beside 5 bend 5 below 5 began 5 because 5 beast 5 any 5 angeles 5 above 4 yeah 4 wrong 4 worth 4 without 4 winter 4 who's 4 white 4 which 4 wheel 4 wedding 4 water 4 wanna 4 walked 4 waited 4 view 4 vast 4 twisting 4 travels 4 thinner 4 teeth 4 steel 4 started 4 squeaking 4 space 4 softly 4 smoke 4 skyline 4 simply 4 silence 4 sent 4 sense 4 s 4 run 4 rooms 4 road 4 return 4 rest 4 reach 4 plays 4 perfect 4 outside 4 other 4 occurred 4 northern 4 nights 4 news 4 mountain 4 miles 4 met 4 machine 4 los 4 looked 4 less 4 leaves 4 learned 4 lay 4 known 4 keeps 4 ivory 4 information 4 ice 4 hurricane 4 houses 4 house 4 holding 4 him 4 hills 4 highway 4 guns 4 guess 4 gets 4 forget 4 forever 4 flows 4 flames 4 fingers 4 filling 4 father 4 farther 4 fact 4 everybody 4 escape 4 embrace 4 earth 4 dreams 4 doubt 4 done 4 dear 4 darkened 4 crawling 4 condescending 4 comfort 4 clouds 4 closed 4 climbed 4 climb 4 clean 4 child 4 car 4 cameras 4 calling 4 brothers 4 boy 4 bound 4 bones 4 blinding 4 blame 4 beneath 4 awoke 4 autumn 4 after 3 youth 3 yours 3 world 3 working 3 worked 3 word 3 wine 3 wife 3 what's 3 weeks 3 we'd 3 wave 3 watched 3 warm 3 wander 3 vultures 3 very 3 vacancy 3 understand 3 type 3 twin 3 trust 3 top 3 tired 3 tiny 3 though 3 thinks 3 tether 3 television 3 taste 3 tall 3 sweet 3 swallowed 3 surround 3 supposed 3 strong 3 streets 3 stranger 3 storm 3 stood 3 stays 3 stayed 3 station 3 static 3 stare 3 stand 3 stable 3 spread 3 spent 3 speaks 3 snow 3 smaller 3 slip 3 slept 3 skies 3 size 3 sink 3 singing 3 signs 3 sights 3 shroud 3 shared 3 series 3 self 3 second 3 seat 3 seasons 3 searching 3 school 3 saved 3 satisfied 3 runs 3 running 3 rubble 3 river 3 rhythm 3 remains 3 remainder 3 regret 3 reflection 3 recall 3 really 3 re 3 rather 3 rainy 3 promises 3 possibilities 3 plates 3 plastic 3 planned 3 plan 3 plain 3 places 3 placed 3 part 3 others 3 ones 3 nowhere 3 noise 3 neighborhood 3 music 3 mother 3 monument 3 mistress 3 meant 3 matter 3 maps 3 makes 3 lover 3 lookin' 3 longer 3 lie 3 learn 3 lake 3 lack 3 kissed 3 kids 3 keeping 3 isn't 3 island 3 inaccurately 3 illuminate 3 hunger 3 hung 3 hours 3 horizon 3 hell 3 hang 3 grid 3 grey 3 grass 3 good 3 gon' 3 glued 3 front 3 four 3 fly 3 fish 3 feet 3 familiar 3 falls 3 failure 3 failing 3 explain 3 eventually 3 endless 3 embarks 3 echoes 3 easy 3 east 3 early 3 drown 3 double 3 doing 3 discover 3 died 3 die 3 diamond 3 design 3 defeated 3 defeat 3 deep 3 decide 3 death 3 countless 3 counting 3 count 3 comes 3 collide 3 cold 3 cloud 3 claim 3 cigarette 3 children 3 changes 3 ceiling 3 care 3 burst 3 brown 3 bright 3 breathe 3 bought 3 bottle 3 born 3 bodies 3 blurs 3 bird 3 become 3 became 3 beach 3 bar 3 band 3 astound 3 asleep 3 apartment 3 anywhere 3 ain't 3 ago 3 across 3 'no's 2 york 2 wreckage 2 worry 2 winter's 2 win 2 wild 2 wide 2 whose 2 whole 2 whiskey 2 weight 2 weathered 2 we've 2 waving 2 wash 2 wants 2 waking 2 wake 2 waitresses 2 vows 2 voice 2 vine 2 views 2 veins 2 upstate 2 untrustable 2 unobstructed 2 unfold 2 underground 2 unconscious 2 twos 2 twenty 2 tv 2 turning 2 truths 2 tripped 2 towards 2 touching 2 touch 2 tongue 2 tones 2 tires 2 tire 2 till 2 tied 2 ticking 2 thrown 2 threw 2 threes 2 thousands 2 thousand 2 they've 2 there'd 2 ten 2 technicolor 2 tear 2 taking 2 synchronized 2 symphony 2 sworn 2 swift 2 swept 2 sweat 2 sure 2 superhero 2 suit 2 strobe 2 strange 2 stranded 2 straight 2 store 2 stopped 2 stones 2 stomach 2 step 2 states 2 state 2 starts 2 starting 2 stands 2 stake 2 stairs 2 stacked 2 st 2 sputters 2 spring 2 splinter 2 spit 2 sphere 2 speaking 2 spat 2 spark 2 son 2 something's 2 someone's 2 soaring 2 smugded 2 smiling 2 smile 2 smell 2 slipping 2 slightest 2 slide 2 skid 2 six 2 sitting 2 sit 2 sings 2 silver 2 signed 2 sign 2 sifting 2 shrugged 2 show 2 shouldn't 2 shore 2 shift 2 shed 2 share 2 shards 2 shallow 2 shake 2 shadows 2 settling 2 setting 2 sets 2 separate 2 sees 2 seen 2 seemed 2 security 2 secrets 2 season 2 scream 2 scraping 2 scenes 2 sand 2 safety 2 rows 2 routine 2 role 2 roads 2 rhythms 2 resolve 2 repeat 2 renewed 2 remained 2 refrain 2 refine 2 red 2 record 2 recognize 2 reason 2 real 2 reading 2 reaction 2 reaching 2 ravine 2 railroad 2 radio 2 quietly 2 quiet 2 question 2 queen 2 pushing 2 push 2 pursuit 2 pulling 2 pulled 2 pull 2 prove 2 potential 2 portable 2 poor 2 point 2 piles 2 pile 2 picked 2 photographs 2 photobooth 2 photo 2 phone 2 peter's 2 perspective 2 peace 2 pavement 2 patterns 2 passing 2 passenger 2 parlor 2 pane 2 pages 2 packed 2 pack 2 pace 2 oxygen 2 overloads 2 overcoat 2 outrun 2 optimist 2 notes 2 network 2 nervous 2 needs 2 neck 2 morse 2 moment 2 misleading 2 mile 2 metal 2 message 2 mention 2 men 2 memory 2 melody 2 markers 2 map 2 magazines 2 losing 2 lonesome 2 living 2 let's 2 led 2 lawn 2 laughed 2 language 2 knows 2 knots 2 knock 2 killing 2 keys 2 jury 2 judge 2 jar 2 isolation 2 iron 2 invitation 2 intermittent 2 intentions 2 instincts 2 ingested 2 infinite 2 image 2 idealistic 2 hour 2 honest 2 homes 2 holds 2 hint 2 hill 2 hedgerows 2 heard 2 headlights 2 he'd 2 hardly 2 hardest 2 hair 2 guiding 2 guide 2 growing 2 grouped 2 greys 2 grave 2 granted 2 going 2 goes 2 god 2 glasses 2 giving 2 given 2 girl 2 gilded 2 ghost 2 further 2 furniture 2 funny 2 frost 2 friend 2 freeways 2 forward 2 foreign 2 foolish 2 fluorescent 2 flights 2 flight 2 flickering 2 flicker 2 five 2 fits 2 fit 2 fine 2 final 2 film 2 fill 2 figured 2 field 2 fiction 2 few 2 fences 2 fell 2 fearful 2 favorite 2 fault 2 faucet 2 family 2 false 2 falling 2 faithful 2 eye 2 except 2 evergreen 2 evening 2 entered 2 engulfed 2 easily 2 ears 2 ear 2 dusty 2 drowned 2 drove 2 drop 2 droop 2 driving 2 drinks 2 drinking 2 drilled 2 dressed 2 dollar 2 doesn't 2 does 2 dive 2 distracted 2 disorderly 2 disappointment 2 disappear 2 directions 2 details 2 desert 2 depths 2 deepest 2 decided 2 december 2 dealers 2 dead 2 daylight 2 date's 2 darling 2 darkest 2 darker 2 damn 2 cycle 2 curtain 2 cursed 2 currency 2 cup 2 crystal 2 cry 2 crowns 2 cross 2 crippling 2 crimes 2 crashing 2 country 2 conversations 2 construction 2 constant 2 coney 2 complications 2 completely 2 command 2 colors 2 color 2 coldest 2 code 2 coat 2 coast 2 clarity 2 circles 2 cigarettes 2 choice 2 chemicals 2 cheap 2 chattered 2 chase 2 chance 2 catholic 2 cathedral 2 cath 2 catches 2 carried 2 cans 2 candle 2 camera 2 cake 2 busy 2 bus 2 build 2 brownstone 2 brow 2 broke 2 bridges 2 bridge 2 bricks 2 bow 2 bounce 2 bottom 2 bored 2 book 2 blues 2 blue 2 bleed 2 beverly 2 bent 2 belong 2 believed 2 beginning 2 becomes 2 beauty 2 beat 2 bastard 2 ball 2 bags 2 baggage 2 backwards 2 backbone 2 aware 2 atmosphere 2 atlas 2 atlantic 2 assume 2 askew 2 arrived 2 applause 2 apologies 2 apart 2 anyone 2 anticipation's 2 answer 2 amputating 2 already 2 almost 2 alleys 2 alcohol 2 advancing 2 advances 2 admit 2 address 2 accident 1 zone 1 zeros 1 zentropic 1 z 1 youthful 1 youngest 1 yearning 1 yearn 1 yard 1 wrote 1 wrongs 1 written 1 writing 1 write 1 wrinkles 1 wrinkled 1 wretched 1 wrecking 1 wrap 1 wounds 1 worthwhile 1 worst 1 worn 1 works 1 workadays 1 wore 1 wool 1 wood 1 woken 1 woke 1 withered 1 wished 1 wires 1 wintery 1 winners 1 window's 1 winded 1 willow 1 whom 1 whispers 1 whenever 1 wheezed 1 wheels 1 wet 1 weights 1 weightless 1 weigh 1 week 1 weave 1 weather 1 weary 1 wearing 1 wealthy 1 weak 1 ways 1 waves 1 water's 1 wasting 1 wasted 1 waste 1 washes 1 warn 1 warming 1 war 1 wall 1 walk 1 waits 1 vowels 1 volume 1 voices 1 vision 1 violent 1 villain 1 vile 1 vicious 1 vessels 1 vessel 1 versus 1 verse 1 vengeful 1 vending 1 veiled 1 vase 1 varies 1 variables 1 van 1 valleys 1 valley 1 vacant 1 uv 1 using 1 urge 1 urban 1 upwards 1 upstream 1 upside 1 upcoming 1 unwired 1 unseen 1 unresponsive 1 unknown 1 uninspired 1 unfounded 1 undone 1 underwhelming 1 understood 1 understated 1 unconditionally 1 umbrate 1 twists 1 twine 1 twilight 1 twice 1 tvs 1 turnstile 1 tunnels 1 tunneled 1 tunnel 1 truly 1 trudged 1 trouble 1 trend 1 tree 1 treble 1 treasures 1 treacherous 1 travel 1 trapped 1 transistor 1 trains 1 train 1 trailed 1 tragic 1 traffic 1 trades 1 traded 1 track 1 tracing 1 towers 1 tower 1 towed 1 tourists 1 tourist 1 tour 1 touched 1 toss 1 tortured 1 tomorrow 1 tombs 1 tokyo 1 toes 1 toe 1 timony 1 timely 1 til 1 tight 1 tide 1 tidal 1 thus 1 thursday 1 thumb 1 thses 1 throwing 1 throat 1 thoughts 1 thirty 1 thirteen 1 thinning 1 thicker 1 thickening 1 they'll 1 they'd 1 theme 1 thanksgiving 1 th 1 terrified 1 tenderly 1 temptation 1 temporary 1 tempo 1 tells 1 telling 1 telescope 1 teen 1 teachers 1 teach 1 taught 1 tattered 1 tasting 1 tastes 1 target 1 tapped 1 tape 1 tank 1 tangles 1 tan's 1 tamed 1 tame 1 tallest 1 taillights 1 tabloid 1 tables 1 swore 1 swings 1 swinging 1 swinger 1 swiftest 1 sweep 1 sweaters 1 swear 1 sway 1 survive 1 surprised 1 surprise 1 surfaced 1 surface 1 super 1 sunk 1 sung 1 sunday 1 summers 1 sum 1 suited 1 sugary 1 suffered 1 sufferance 1 suddenly 1 suburbs 1 suburban 1 subcompact 1 styrofoam 1 stutter 1 stung 1 stumbling 1 stumbled 1 stumble 1 studies 1 stuck 1 strung 1 strumming 1 struggle 1 stripped 1 strings 1 stretch 1 strength 1 streaks 1 streaking 1 strands 1 strain 1 story 1 stormed 1 stopping 1 stocking 1 sting 1 stick 1 stenches 1 steered 1 steeple 1 stature 1 stated 1 starves 1 stared 1 stamped 1 stained 1 stain 1 staggering 1 squid 1 squeezed 1 squeeze 1 squeaky 1 squares 1 springtime 1 springs 1 split 1 splicing 1 spinsters 1 spine 1 spilt 1 spending 1 speeding 1 speech 1 sped 1 spectrum's 1 speck 1 span 1 souvenirs 1 southern 1 south 1 soused 1 sour 1 sounds 1 soundly 1 sounded 1 sorry 1 sorrow 1 songs 1 solutions 1 solution 1 soles 1 solely 1 soldier 1 sold 1 soil 1 soft 1 soaking 1 snub 1 snowing 1 sneaky 1 sneaking 1 smoking 1 smiles 1 smells 1 small 1 slurring 1 slur 1 slot 1 slopes 1 slips 1 slippery 1 slick 1 slew 1 sleeves 1 sledding 1 slate 1 slander 1 slammin' 1 slacks 1 skyscrapers 1 skip 1 skinny 1 skills 1 sites 1 sip's 1 sins 1 singe 1 sing 1 since 1 simpler 1 similarity 1 silverstones 1 silken 1 silhouette 1 silenced 1 signals 1 sighted 1 sight 1 sides 1 sick 1 shutters 1 shut 1 shuffling 1 shrouded 1 shrine 1 shower 1 shovels 1 shop 1 shooting 1 shivers 1 shirt 1 shining 1 shines 1 shine 1 shifts 1 shield 1 shelf 1 sheets 1 sheen 1 shebang 1 shaved 1 shasta 1 shaking 1 shakedown 1 shades 1 shackles 1 sewing 1 seven 1 servers 1 seriously 1 sentence 1 sending 1 send 1 sell 1 selfless 1 seek 1 seeds 1 secret's 1 seas 1 seams 1 scripted 1 scrimped 1 screams 1 schemes 1 scent 1 scarves 1 scarf 1 scale 1 scaffolding 1 says 1 satellites 1 sat 1 sarcastic 1 sarah 1 sappiest 1 sang 1 san 1 saltwater 1 salivating 1 saddens 1 sacred 1 rusted 1 rushed 1 runway 1 rules 1 rule 1 rubber 1 royal 1 row 1 round 1 rotten 1 roman 1 roller 1 rocks 1 rock 1 robot 1 rises 1 ring 1 rights 1 righteous 1 ridge 1 ride 1 revisions 1 returns 1 returning 1 retreat 1 restrictions 1 restlessness 1 restless 1 response 1 resort 1 resolutions 1 resigned 1 resignation 1 reside 1 rescue 1 requiem 1 repressed 1 reports 1 reporting 1 replaced 1 repetition 1 repeats 1 repeating 1 rented 1 reminder 1 remind 1 remembering 1 relief 1 relax 1 reject 1 regardless 1 regal 1 refused 1 refined 1 reeling 1 reeks 1 reeked 1 reduces 1 redemptions 1 records 1 recollect 1 receptors 1 recently 1 receipts 1 receded 1 rearrange 1 realize 1 ready 1 react 1 rays 1 rationed 1 rate's 1 rank 1 ranges 1 random 1 raising 1 raise 1 rail 1 raggedy 1 radios 1 racket 1 quitting 1 quit 1 quips 1 quell 1 queens 1 quarry 1 quarreling 1 pushes 1 purpose 1 purity 1 punks 1 punk 1 pumping 1 pulp 1 proves 1 protect 1 propping 1 proposing 1 proof 1 promise 1 procession 1 problems 1 pristine 1 priest 1 pride 1 prices 1 prevail 1 pretty 1 pretentious 1 pretending 1 pre 1 prayers 1 prayer 1 praising 1 postcards 1 postcard 1 possoibilities 1 possible 1 possibility's 1 position 1 pose 1 porch 1 population's 1 pools 1 politics 1 pointed 1 poets 1 pockets 1 pocket 1 plymouth 1 plumes 1 plots 1 plot 1 plenty 1 pleasantries 1 pleas 1 plea 1 playing 1 playful 1 plate 1 plaster 1 plans 1 plaguing 1 plague 1 pixels 1 piss 1 pink 1 pinhole 1 pinch 1 pillow 1 pillars 1 pigtails 1 pier 1 pieces 1 pictures 1 picture 1 picks 1 picket 1 phrases 1 photos 1 phones'll 1 pews 1 person 1 permission 1 permanence 1 perforated 1 perfectly 1 perfection 1 pension 1 penance 1 pen 1 peered 1 peeled 1 peel 1 peak 1 payroll 1 payment 1 payin' 1 paycheck 1 patrons 1 patio 1 patiently 1 passes 1 passed 1 partyline 1 party 1 parts 1 parks 1 parking 1 parked 1 paris 1 parents' 1 parents 1 parent 1 parapet 1 par 1 panic 1 pangs 1 palms 1 palisades 1 pale 1 painted 1 paint 1 paid 1 page 1 packing 1 pacers 1 overturns 1 overturned 1 overrated 1 overpass 1 overloaded 1 overjoyed 1 overflow 1 overcome 1 outstretched 1 outdo 1 outdated 1 ottoman 1 organ 1 orderly 1 opinions 1 opened 1 oozed 1 onto 1 onset 1 one's 1 oncoming 1 olympia 1 older 1 offense 1 occur 1 occupy 1 obscure 1 objectively 1 nurse 1 numbs 1 numbers 1 note 1 non 1 noises 1 nice 1 next 1 newsstand 1 nerve 1 neighbors 1 needle 1 needed 1 nearby 1 navy 1 natural 1 named 1 mute 1 murals 1 moviescript 1 movement 1 mourning 1 motor 1 mothers 1 mother's 1 most 1 mopped 1 moonlight 1 moon 1 moods 1 monuments 1 months 1 money 1 model 1 mock 1 moat 1 mittens 1 misspellings 1 mississippi 1 mission 1 missing 1 missed 1 misguided 1 mirrored 1 mirages 1 minor 1 mined 1 minds 1 minces 1 millions 1 might 1 midnight 1 midday 1 microchip 1 messes 1 messenger 1 messaged 1 mend 1 memory's 1 melt 1 mellow 1 medians 1 medals 1 measly 1 meaningless 1 meaning 1 maze 1 mattress 1 math 1 mates 1 match 1 masterfully 1 master 1 mary 1 mark 1 marching 1 march 1 manuscript 1 manhattan 1 mangled 1 malls 1 makeshift 1 major 1 main 1 mail 1 magistrate's 1 magazine 1 machines 1 ma 1 m 1 lustrous 1 lust 1 lushing 1 lungs 1 lump 1 luck 1 loyal 1 lowered 1 loves 1 lovely 1 love's 1 lousy 1 loud 1 lot 1 losses 1 loosened 1 loose 1 longest 1 lodged 1 locusts 1 lock 1 loan 1 lives 1 lived 1 lipstick 1 likes 1 lighting 1 lighthouses 1 lighthouse 1 lifts 1 lifetime 1 lies 1 levitate 1 letting 1 letters 1 letter 1 lesson 1 lenses 1 lens 1 lengthwise 1 length 1 lend 1 legal 1 least 1 lean 1 leaks 1 lcd 1 lazy 1 layered 1 laughing 1 laugh 1 lattice 1 latitude 1 lathe 1 later 1 lanes 1 landlocked 1 lamp 1 lame 1 lain 1 laid 1 lady 1 ladder 1 labor 1 knuckles 1 knew' 1 knees 1 knee 1 kiss 1 kings 1 king 1 kinda 1 killed 1 kill 1 kicks 1 kicker 1 kick 1 keyed 1 key 1 kaleidoscope 1 justified 1 junctions 1 jump 1 judgement 1 joylessly 1 join 1 johns 1 jet 1 jealousy 1 jealous 1 jamc 1 jailhouse 1 jacket 1 itself 1 it'll 1 isolations 1 isle 1 islands 1 irreverence 1 irresponsible 1 irrationally 1 invited 1 invincible 1 inventions 1 interstate 1 intersected 1 interest 1 intentioned 1 intentionally 1 integrity 1 innocence 1 inlet 1 ink 1 inhibitions 1 inhale 1 inflicted 1 inflating 1 indoors 1 indicating 1 increasing 1 incomparable 1 incessant 1 impulse 1 impressed 1 impossiblity 1 important 1 impending 1 imagination 1 illegible 1 ignore 1 idle 1 ideals 1 ideal 1 idea 1 icu 1 hurts 1 hurry 1 hunted 1 hunt 1 hundred 1 humid 1 hum 1 hues 1 hudson 1 huddle 1 hovers 1 hot 1 horrible 1 hoping 1 hood 1 homily 1 homemade 1 homeland 1 home's 1 holly 1 hitched 1 hit 1 hipsters 1 hips 1 highways 1 high 1 hide 1 hidden 1 heros 1 hermit 1 here's 1 helplessly 1 helpless 1 hello 1 heavens 1 heavenly 1 heat 1 heart's 1 heal 1 heading 1 haven't 1 haunts 1 hated 1 harm 1 hardwood 1 harder 1 happier 1 happen 1 hammer 1 hallway 1 hadn't 1 habits 1 habit 1 gutters 1 gutter 1 gust 1 gun 1 guestroom 1 guenivere 1 grown 1 group 1 grounding 1 grooves 1 greyhounds 1 greyhound 1 grettings 1 greetings 1 greet 1 greenery 1 greed 1 greater 1 gray 1 gravitated 1 graves 1 gravel 1 grasp 1 grapevines 1 granite 1 grand 1 grace 1 grabbed 1 gossip 1 goodnight 1 goodbyes 1 glowed 1 glow 1 glove 1 gloomy 1 glitches 1 glimpses 1 gleam 1 glared 1 glances 1 glacial 1 girlie 1 girl's 1 gift 1 giants 1 geography 1 generator's 1 gears 1 gas 1 garbage 1 game 1 gallows 1 gag 1 furrowed 1 fund 1 fumbling 1 fulfilled 1 fuel 1 frozen 1 frowns 1 fronts 1 frolicked 1 fringe 1 frightfully 1 frighteningly 1 frightened 1 friction 1 freshest 1 freeway 1 freckles 1 francisco 1 framing 1 framed 1 fragile 1 foul 1 forwards 1 forth 1 former 1 formed 1 formal 1 forgiveness 1 forewarned 1 footsteps 1 fooled 1 fonder 1 follows 1 folds 1 folding 1 focusing 1 flying 1 flushed 1 flowers 1 flow 1 floors 1 floorboard 1 floes 1 floating 1 flinging 1 fleeting 1 flee 1 fled 1 flaw 1 flattered 1 flatlands 1 flat 1 flashes 1 flashbulbs 1 firsts 1 firm 1 firemen 1 firecrackers 1 finish 1 fingertips 1 fingertip 1 finds 1 finding 1 filthy 1 filter 1 films 1 figurines 1 figures 1 fields 1 fictions 1 fiberoptics 1 fence 1 feed 1 federales 1 fed 1 features 1 feathers 1 fears 1 faulty 1 fate 1 faraway 1 fantasies 1 fanned 1 fallen 1 faking 1 fake 1 faith 1 fail 1 fabric 1 expressions 1 explosions 1 explode 1 explanation 1 expense 1 expel 1 exit 1 exist 1 excuses 1 excited 1 exceptionally 1 exactly 1 everywhere 1 everytime 1 everything's 1 everyday 1 eroding 1 erasing 1 envy 1 envisioned 1 entertained 1 entertain 1 engaged 1 energy 1 endure 1 endlessly 1 encapsulate 1 employee 1 embers 1 embarrassed 1 else's 1 elegantly 1 elegant 1 eiffel 1 egos 1 edge 1 echo 1 eastern 1 dyes 1 dust 1 dumpster 1 dumping 1 dummy 1 dug 1 due 1 dry 1 drunks 1 drum 1 driveway 1 drips 1 drink 1 dresser 1 dreadful 1 drawn 1 drawers 1 drank 1 drama 1 drained 1 drag 1 downturn 1 downslide 1 dotted 1 doom 1 donor 1 dj's 1 divulge 1 division 1 divide 1 distorting 1 dissolving 1 dissolve 1 disruption 1 disputed 1 display 1 dishes 1 disguise 1 disgrace 1 discouraged 1 disconnect 1 disclosure 1 disarray 1 disappearing 1 dirty 1 dirt 1 direness 1 direction 1 dipping 1 dip 1 dinner 1 diminishing 1 diffusing 1 differences 1 difference 1 diet 1 dies 1 dialogs 1 devouring 1 devour 1 devoted 1 destroy 1 destinations 1 destination 1 desperate 1 despair 1 desire 1 deserted 1 descending 1 descended 1 deposit 1 depend 1 denver 1 demons 1 delicate 1 degrees 1 degraded 1 definitely 1 defined 1 define 1 defense 1 defacing 1 deeper 1 deem 1 deck 1 december's 1 deceive 1 deceit 1 decades 1 debt 1 debate 1 dealt 1 dazzling 1 daydreaming 1 dawn 1 daughter's 1 date 1 dash 1 darlin' 1 dangerous 1 dancehall 1 danced 1 dam 1 dakotas 1 cutthroat 1 cuts 1 cute 1 curtains 1 cursing 1 curse 1 current 1 curled 1 cups 1 cupped 1 culver 1 cue 1 crying 1 crust 1 crumbling 1 crumbled 1 crossing 1 crosses 1 crooked 1 crimson 1 crest 1 creek 1 creases 1 creaping 1 cranes 1 cracked 1 crack 1 courting 1 course 1 council's 1 could've 1 corrupting 1 correct 1 cornerbooth 1 core 1 cord 1 convince 1 conviction 1 control 1 continue 1 contest 1 contact 1 constellations 1 constantly 1 console 1 consequence 1 conscious 1 connections 1 congregation 1 confused 1 conduit 1 condos 1 conclude 1 conception 1 concept 1 comprise 1 compress 1 compliment 1 compete 1 compartment 1 compared 1 compare 1 company 1 committing 1 coming 1 comfortable 1 combing 1 colored 1 collision 1 collegiate 1 collapsing 1 colder 1 codes 1 cocktail 1 coats 1 coaster 1 coalinga 1 clove 1 cloth 1 closing 1 cliffs 1 clearly 1 cleansing 1 cleaning 1 classes 1 clasped 1 clanking 1 cityscapes 1 churches 1 church 1 chose 1 chords 1 choose 1 choking 1 choke 1 chock 1 chitter 1 chill 1 childish 1 chicago 1 chest 1 cherry 1 cheer 1 cheeks 1 checked 1 chatter 1 chased 1 charming 1 charmed 1 charity 1 changing 1 changed 1 champagne 1 chalks 1 century 1 centered 1 center 1 cemetery 1 celestial 1 caving 1 cave 1 causing 1 caught 1 catch 1 casualty 1 casual 1 castle 1 cast 1 casino 1 casing 1 case 1 cascading 1 cartoon 1 carry 1 carpet 1 carousel 1 carnival 1 cardigan 1 card 1 capturing 1 captured 1 capture 1 capsizing 1 capsize 1 caps 1 capable 1 cap 1 canyon 1 candid 1 calls 1 called 1 californ 1 calgary 1 cage 1 cafeteria 1 cabin 1 buzzers 1 buying 1 buy 1 butt 1 bury 1 bursting 1 burns 1 buried 1 burden 1 bumper 1 bumming 1 bum 1 bullets 1 bruises 1 bruised 1 bruise 1 brows 1 brought 1 brooklyn 1 brittle 1 bringing 1 brilliant 1 brightly 1 brightest 1 bride 1 bribes 1 breed 1 breaths 1 breathing 1 breath 1 breaking 1 breach 1 braved 1 brave 1 brand 1 brainstem 1 brainless 1 brain's 1 bracing 1 brace 1 boy's 1 boxers 1 box 1 bowties 1 boundaries 1 boulevard 1 bough 1 bottoms 1 bottles 1 bottle's 1 borders 1 bold 1 bodies' 1 bob 1 boats 1 blustery 1 blurred 1 blur 1 bluffs 1 bluer 1 bluebird 1 blossoms 1 blooms 1 blooming 1 blood 1 bloc 1 blissful 1 blips 1 blink 1 blinds 1 blinded 1 blew 1 blessings 1 bless 1 bleeding 1 bled 1 blatant 1 blasting 1 blanks 1 blank 1 blacking 1 blackest 1 bixby 1 bitterness 1 bite 1 bind 1 binary 1 billings 1 billboards 1 bill 1 bike 1 bigger 1 bible 1 beyond 1 betrayed 1 berlin 1 belongs 1 bellow 1 begun 1 begged 1 beer 1 bedroom 1 beating 1 beak 1 beacons 1 beacon 1 bathe 1 bath 1 basically 1 basement 1 based 1 barstools 1 barefoot 1 banks 1 bank 1 bangkok 1 bandwidth 1 backwashed 1 backfired 1 awful 1 awakes 1 autumn's 1 audiences 1 attraction 1 attitudes 1 attitude 1 attic 1 attend 1 attempts 1 attempting 1 attempt 1 attack 1 attached 1 asterisks 1 assuredly 1 assigned 1 asked 1 ashes 1 ascribed 1 ascensions 1 artifacts 1 arriving 1 arrives 1 arrange 1 arguments 1 arches 1 arch 1 appropriate 1 appetites 1 appeared 1 appear 1 anyways 1 answers 1 another's 1 angry 1 angels 1 amputee 1 amplify 1 amphetamines 1 amount 1 amongst 1 ambition 1 amaze 1 aloud 1 alley 1 alibi 1 alcoholic 1 alarmed 1 alarm 1 airport 1 airplanes 1 air's 1 aimless 1 aiming 1 aim 1 agree 1 ages 1 age's 1 afraid 1 advantage 1 addictions 1 actors' 1 ached 1 account 1 accidents 1 abuse 1 absorbing 1 absence 1 abscence 1 able 1 abhor 1 abandon 1 'round
submitted by deanjames88 to DeathCabforCutie [link] [comments]

To good to be true deal goes wrong.

Was about to go to bed, when I got a friend request. Usually I get requests from players that were in a match with me. But today was different. I didn't remember seeing this fellows name in a game I played. But I added him anyway. We started a chat, and this is how it went. I put my commentary in brackets ().
Sorlo the scammer : http://steamcommunity.com/id/SORLO12765/ : STEAM_1:0:1535077
Sorry forgot to turn on time stamps.
Never tell your password to anyone. Thursday, February 1, 2018 [cf] Crazycat: ?
Sorlo: hi man, are you here?
[cf] Crazycat: yes?
Sorlo: i added you because i've got an offer
[cf] Crazycat: lets hear it.
Sorlo: just i need someone who can advertise the site, sure i will pay you have to change nickname in Steam like [cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE and keep it 7 days i will pay 150$ today in Dota or CS:GO items if you promise to keep your nickname all next week Sorlo: is it ok?
[cf] Crazycat: what kind of items? Random ones?
Sorlo: change first
Sorlo: and we discuss
[cf] Crazycat has changed their name to [cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE.
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: this good?
Sorlo: yes
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: now, whats the offer.
(at this point I thought he wanted me to just change my name for some items.)
Sorlo: good job
Sorlo: what items do you prefer?
Sorlo: dota 2 or csgo?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: dota 2
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: I dont play CS anymore
Sorlo: ok
Sorlo: dark artistry cape will be ok?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: thats only valued at 130
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: thought you said this was 150 value.
Sorlo: i add one arcana
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: Can I choose something else?
Sorlo: ok
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: I also stream some times, maybe I can work out some kind of advertisements
(this is how you do business)
Sorlo: we can discuss it later
Sorlo: check our store on stepgamble. com and select items on 150$, put this promo to get your money ( N1VRS )
Sorlo: icon with a gift in the bottom of the page is a place for your promo-code
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: when I go to stepgamble it redirects me to fadegamble
(Turns out stepgamble is actualy fadegamble... who knew?)
Sorlo: i must be go on fadegamble
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: that promo code only gave me $5.00
Sorlo: alright
Sorlo: now u get more
Sorlo: reload the page
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: k
Sorlo: can you see a wheel on the main page?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: yes
(I knew he could see the colors as soon as I got on there)
Sorlo: delete 0.10 and write 2 then bet on red (icon knives with a star)
Sorlo: win
Sorlo: 5$ on purple
Sorlo: MAN
Sorlo: 5
Sorlo: IS 5
Sorlo: NOT 6
Sorlo: NOT 7
Sorlo: follow my instructions
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: how do I remove the bet
Sorlo: all in red
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: k
Sorlo: how much u got now?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: 32.10
Sorlo: ok
Sorlo: lose 7$ gold to not suspicious for the admins
Sorlo: lost?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: yep
Sorlo: ok
Sorlo: all in purple
Sorlo: win
Sorlo: go red
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: yeet
Sorlo: all in
Sorlo: can we win gold x14?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: idk bro
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: you know the secrets
Sorlo: we bet $150 x 14 (gold) = $2100, then split $1050 for you and $1050 for me , is it ok?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: idc
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: sure
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: I got 100 atm
Sorlo: i just know which color wins, but can not change it, so it is not rigged like scam csgo sites
Sorlo: But there is just 1 problem, you withdraw all items on your Steam account, 'cause you've added your trade-link, will you return my part after the withdrawal?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: sure
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: You know the secrets to the colors
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: so i dont see why not
Sorlo: can i trust you?
Sorlo: you will not block me?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: I trusted you. Doesnt that meen something?
(I didn't trust him at all)
Sorlo: or smth like that
Sorlo: because we will win a big money
Sorlo: i just do not want to be scammed
Sorlo: im honest with you
Sorlo: so please be honest with me
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: thats true
Sorlo: so that's a deal mate?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: sure you got discord?
Sorlo: i can not use services like skype and dc at the work
Sorlo: we chatting here
Sorlo: all will be ok
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: ur at work lol
Sorlo: i have done it a few times before
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: you sure the admins wont find out?
Sorlo: i mean all the process, im not at the office ofc
Sorlo: yes
Sorlo: we will avoid the protection system of the site
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: ight lets do this then.
Sorlo: everything will be fine
Sorlo: just do not fool me
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: you want me to type something in the chat like "im going all in boys"
Sorlo: if you return my part and all comes good, we can make it again 7-10 days later
Sorlo: NO NO
Sorlo: it will be very suspcious
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: oh ok.
Sorlo: just follow my words
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: want me to make small talk with others tho?
Sorlo: no, do not use the chat
Sorlo: jut wrote YESSS when we win gold
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: kk
Sorlo: so, go
Sorlo: open inventory on the site (pig with coin icon) and press dota logo here
Sorlo: can you see some items here?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: hold on
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: we didnt win
Sorlo: WTF
Sorlo: DID YOU BET?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: you said to go old
Sorlo: WHY????
Sorlo: WHERE
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: gold*
Sorlo: I TOLD YOU BEFORE I CAN NOT CHANGE COLORS
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: right
Sorlo: I TOLL YOU LET'S DO IT
Sorlo: NOT GO GOLD
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: oohhhh
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: shit dude
Sorlo: Did you lose all???
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: can we work our way back up?
Sorlo: man
Sorlo: we have last chance
Sorlo: please do not hurry up
Sorlo: red all in
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: my .10
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: XD
Sorlo: ((
Sorlo: puprle
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: its ok this makes it look real
Sorlo: purple all in
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: purple again?
Sorlo: yes
Sorlo: it makes admin look intently at your account
Sorlo: because we gonna win 100+ from 0.10
Sorlo: it sucks
Sorlo: red
Sorlo: all in
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: nah its more like we made it look like the house wins, but we got lucky as fuck.
Sorlo: gold
Sorlo: you know that casino always wins
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: yeah...
Sorlo: 5$ red
Sorlo: purple
Sorlo: all in
Sorlo: next round
Sorlo: lose 2-3$ on purple
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: kk
Sorlo: all in purple
Sorlo: ok look what now
Sorlo: open invent , it is pig with coin icon and press dota icon here
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: 104.40
Sorlo: can you see any items there?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: yes
Sorlo: ok
Sorlo: so we at 104
Sorlo: alright.
Sorlo: select some items to reach 150, to be not suspicious for the admins and security system of the site, so we can play gold and withdraw our items on your account
(He wanted me to add money to spend money, then later I convinced him to unfreeze my account so then I could try and scam the scammer but they had a backup plan for that)
Sorlo: just tell me mate
Sorlo: which items do you select, i will return them back from the bot
Sorlo: it's np for me
Sorlo: just select any items on 50, some treasures or immortals would be ok, then we play gold and withdraw our winnings
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: this is a deposit.
Sorlo: yes, select any items to rech 150
Sorlo: then we play gold
Sorlo: i just do not want to be caught
Sorlo: then fired
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: im not putting 150$ of my items into the site.
Sorlo: not 150
Sorlo: we at 104
Sorlo: need $46
Sorlo: http://imgur.com/a/M1SCD
http://imgur.com/a/35AEM
http://imgur.com/a/MosbK
http://imgur.com/a/GSn02
https://imgur.com/a/Eybuh
http://imgur.com/a/GXzil
Our bot returns items to users and sends winnings
so do not worry about your items, they all will be returned back
Sorlo: tbh
Sorlo: i'm an advertiser, i get here 300$/week, admins are constantly checking my IP, accounts, mails, etc. I just found a way to earn some extra money for my college
(LOL 300$/week for college?)
Sorlo: have you selected some items?
Sorlo: you only have to trust me 1 time, each of us will be rewarded
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: Bro, I cant risk it, I went to ti7 to get some of these.
Sorlo: we have already done 90% of the work
Sorlo: man you have already won $100
Sorlo: anyway you do not lose anything
Sorlo: select any items, do not add expensive
Sorlo: did you check the screenshots?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: a few, but those could be faked.... :C
Sorlo: no mate
Sorlo: do not worry
Sorlo: you have my word, all will be ok
Sorlo: we gonna win it and withdraw
Sorlo: all you need to do is to reach $150, then i take other job in my hands
Sorlo: walk a mile in my shoes, i just do not want to lose my job
Sorlo: is it selected bro?
Sorlo: mate?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: yes?
Sorlo: have you selected 50
Sorlo: ?
Sorlo: $46*
Sorlo: that's all you need to do, nothing else more
Sorlo: bet on gold 150 and then withdraw the items and send my part
Sorlo: so bro?
Sorlo: ok i'm making 50%
Sorlo: please do not scam me ..
Sorlo: check the balance
Sorlo: it is confirmed
Sorlo: ?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: yeah im at 124.49
Sorlo: oh
Sorlo: nice
Sorlo: reach $150 and let's win gold finally
Sorlo: i know you wanna too
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: now we wait for another donation or we could bet on purple or something, so I dont need to put any of my items in
Sorlo: no man
Sorlo: you put now $25
Sorlo: i have added mine $20
Sorlo: no way
Sorlo: you have all the proofs, i won and donated 125 in total for you
Sorlo: now is your queue
Sorlo: turn
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: waaaait a second....
Sorlo: so???
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: lets bet 25$ one more time. So I know I wont lose it all.
Sorlo: no
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: yes
Sorlo: i not want to be fired
Sorlo: you follow my instructions
Sorlo: i have added my money
Sorlo: now you reach 150 then we play gold
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: so why wouldnt you be fired from all the other bets?
Sorlo: because we won 100
Sorlo: not 2100 :)
Sorlo: that's a big difference
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: what if we just bet 100$ on purple so we get 200, then bet the 200 on red and get 400, put that back on red to make 800, we cash out and then I could advertise the link on my twitch :P
Sorlo: nice try man
Sorlo: but no
Sorlo: only way to win more is to reach 150 at the balance
Sorlo: no way
Sorlo: add any items on $25 then we play gold immediately
Sorlo: or do not waste my time
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: right, so why dont we just do a few more small bets?
Sorlo: Sorlo: i not want to be fired
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: you just copy and paisted that.
Sorlo: yes
Sorlo: i do not want to spend more time on you
Sorlo: add $25 and let's play gold
Sorlo: or delete me
Sorlo: stop writing the messages 24/7
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: so I figured out your game. You rig it so players win till they get to around 100 then you scam them out of around 50$ worth of items, they lose the gold bet, and you say something along the lines of "dang looks like you lost."
Sorlo: you deposit $25 or leave me alone
Sorlo: that's how it works
Sorlo: you will not lose ;)
Sorlo: you can bet $100 gold when you at $150
Sorlo: so your theory sucks
Sorlo: i do not make you bet exactly 150, you can check me and bet 100 or 80
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: you cant withdraw without 150 in the account
Sorlo: yes)
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: so you would still be takeing my 50
Sorlo: so?
Sorlo: 50?
Sorlo: i asking you for 25
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: oh im sorry 25
Sorlo: you are bad Sherlock Holmes
Sorlo: you find bad thing where they aren't hidding
Sorlo: thnigs*
Sorlo: hidingg*
Sorlo: srry im typing fast
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: idk dude, without real proof how do I know you wont leave me.
Sorlo: mate i have added $25 of mine
Sorlo: what is the profit to leave you
Sorlo: do you think i would spend 2 hours to take your $25?
Sorlo: it is hilarous
Sorlo: scammers not working by this way
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: thats how scam sites make the profits
Sorlo: they try to take all your stuff at 1 time
Sorlo: look at my acc
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: I looked at it, your inv is private
Sorlo: i've been working in advertising for 6 years
Sorlo: if i scam users
Sorlo: i will be already banned
Sorlo: man i swear to god you will not be deceived
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: I cant deposit, I just tryed it says something about frozen
Sorlo: no
Sorlo: you tried to bet
Sorlo: when you withdraw your balance getting frozen
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: yes, and you stoped me.
Sorlo: it will be unfrozen when you make a deposit
Sorlo: it is written
Sorlo: in the message
Sorlo: are you ready to add 25 and finally win gold
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: up untill the part about depositing, I was convinced.
Sorlo: bet gold
Sorlo: next round
Sorlo: $100
Sorlo: now gold
Sorlo: now man
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: it says I cant
Sorlo: oh
Sorlo: deposit $1 to be able for betting
Sorlo: it is your fault
Sorlo: gold won
Sorlo: add $1 and unfreeze the balance
Sorlo: and let's win gold
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: you are a admin, just unfreeze it.
Sorlo: I'M AN ADVERTISER
Sorlo: I TOLD YOU 5 TIMES
Sorlo: DO NOT BE SUCH STUPID
Sorlo: added minimal?
Sorlo: can we bet?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: at this point, You can have all the profit, I just want to help you with your college.
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: Idea, what If you sent me a 1$ item, and I used that to unfreeze the account.
(good guy crazycat just wants to help this man go tough college)
Sorlo: )))
Sorlo: ah i got it
Sorlo: you are a jew
(wtf calling me a jew?)
Sorlo: ok np
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: ?
Sorlo: i make last deposit, if you scam me, i gonna find you and say hello to your family
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: whats the plan?
Sorlo: check the balance
Sorlo: done?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: bet gold?
Sorlo: no
Sorlo: wait on gold
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: k just tell me when
Sorlo: next is golden get ready
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: now?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: or next?
Sorlo: NEXT
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: k
Sorlo: now
Sorlo: all in
Sorlo: GOLD
Sorlo: type in the chat
Sorlo: after you win
Sorlo: GOLD NOW
Sorlo: MAN
Sorlo: GOLD
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: still wont let me
Sorlo: FUCK
Sorlo: DID YOU RELOAD THE PAGE???
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: yes
Sorlo: TRY NOW 1$
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: two times
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: 1$ on what color?
Sorlo: Doesn't matter
Sorlo: worked?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: yeh
Sorlo: nice
Sorlo: wait on gold
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: k
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: ready yet?
Sorlo: hold on
Sorlo: next is gold
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: k
Sorlo: nnow
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: I hit the button but its not in the side bar
Sorlo: WE WIN
Sorlo: HOW MUCH WE GOT??
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: 1864
Sorlo: nice
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: I wrote some messages so It looked real
Sorlo: open withdraw
Sorlo: ok
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: alright my dued, what items do you want
Sorlo: Take me Platinum Baby Roshan $1061.47
Sorlo: other is yours
Sorlo: just send my Rosh to me
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: kk
Sorlo: spend all the money
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: trying to Sorlo: ok
Sorlo: is done
Sorlo: it
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: still spending 300
Sorlo: k
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: cant decide
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: you didnt tell me there would be a 186 commission.
(yep they wont let you withdraw without sending items worth 186 to them first.)
Sorlo: WHAT?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: cant they just take that from my winnings?
Sorlo: DID YOU LOSE THE MONEY?
Sorlo: WHAT HAPPEND WITH THE MONE??
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: its still there my dude
Sorlo: send me the message
Sorlo: i will fix it
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: ok let me pick the items again
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: https://imgur.com/a/pa5AC
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: see
Sorlo: ok wait
Sorlo: i ask the main admin
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: yeah chargeing to withdraw seems kinda over kill
Sorlo: did you use dota2lounge btw?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: I can.
Sorlo: ok i got it
Sorlo: we have won 2 times gold and our winnings is more than 1000$ so we have to pay the commission for site and Steam, admin said we would return all the items, look how do we do it
Sorlo: you get new button when you pay the commission http://imgur.com/a/k8a5A , you press on it and all deposited items come back to your account and we withdraw our stuff
Sorlo: look what we do now
Sorlo: open inventory on the site, select there 7 first items and tell me how much they cost in total, and write the names of these items
Sorlo: write me the names
Sorlo: so?
Sorlo: selected 7 items?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: I dont want to put anything from my inventory on the site, I'd be ok with the admin taking the 186 from my winnings.
Sorlo: ti is impossible
Sorlo: you must add it in items then you return them back
Sorlo: http://imgur.com/a/k8a5A
Sorlo: add 186 and witdraw our stuff
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: Can he/she lift the commission charge then I could advertise for the site a few times to work it off?
Sorlo: no
Sorlo: you add it and return back in 3 minutes
Sorlo: that's all
Sorlo: so?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: sec
Sorlo: is it done?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: Im asking a admin a question first.
Sorlo: write in support
Sorlo: so?
Sorlo: do they respond?
Sorlo: what do you ask
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: nothing yet, I even sent a email.
Sorlo: use support near the chat
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: I tryed that
Sorlo: try again
Sorlo: man??
Sorlo: so
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: im working things out with him
Sorlo: what's going on?
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: still talking to him
Sorlo: mm
Sorlo: nice job
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: I want to avoid the 186$ deposit.
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: you have access to the bots?
Sorlo: no
Sorlo: im an advertiser
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE: ok, you have to trust me on this one. you can send me a 186$ item or items and ill deposit it.
( Almost got them lel)
Sorlo: pay the commission and withdraw the items
Sorlo: AHAHHAHA
Sorlo: good luck scammer
Sorlo: i can send you your mother by DHL
Sorlo: do you want to?
Sorlo: bb
Sorlo: i report you
Sorlo is now Offline.
[cf] Crazycat | STEPGAMBLE has changed their name to [cf] Crazycat.
This is where our story ends... but is it the last of Sorlo? We might never find out. Though this whole ordeal I never sent any items to anybody or did anything that would compromise my account to them. Did some snooping while bullshitting this scammer like looking up his site (https://www.scamadviser.com/check-website/fadegamble.com).
TL:DR : I wasted a scammers time, had some fun with it. Didn't lose any items. Fadegamble / STEPGAMBLE are scam sites and should not be used / gone-to.
Ps. I know people are going to say something like "why did you even bother going to the site / playing along" the more time I wasted having him mess with me, was time not spent scamming someone else. Also it was fun fucking with him.
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